the first month of 2009.

it went all right i suppose. it i could pick one word to sum up the month it would probably be..(i should have thought of something before i typed this)relevations? ive realized that the friendships ive lost are never going to come back, or atleast ever be the same as they were before. i know have new and possibly better friends that fill up that gap and hopefully wont ever leave me for a different crowd of people again. how was your january?
<3

strobe lights.

so in an earlier post today, i mentioned that i was going to a party. and i did. it was pretty fun. there was this point that i was just sort-of staring at the lights that were changing colours and flashing. again and again. there was this boy we saw who was like in a courner with his friends like surrounding him. i then found out that he was crying. i felt really bad, even though i didnt know him. but i still wanted to go like comfort him for some reason. that would be impossible though since his friends were like his fucking bodyguards and when we got just like close to them they would shoo us away like we were flies. it was. weird. i kept on touching random peoples hair when they would walk by me, and laugh at their faces when they looked around confused. then near the end of everything, i saw this really cute guy. i felt like a freak just looking on at him. im slightly sad that i probably wont see him ever again, i didnt even know his name lol. anyways tomorrow im going to see uninvited with some friends. will be fun.
<3

partay

tonight. wants to go. has no moneyz and no way to get there. what do i do?

jacuzzi.

me max sarah and savannah went to the 101 today to meet up with some people at the beach park. i took a lot of pictures but james stole my wings. i forgot that he did for a while then the 4 of us left for 7 11 to get food and wax. we then went on a epic journey to find the other people and save my lost wings from james. eventually we did. then savannah went home and me sarah and max back to my place to get bathing suits to go to the jacuzzi near where max lives. i never knew max liked pokemon, and he had giant pikachus everywhere and pokemon posters. so i was just like eee! then we went to the jacuzzi and played truth or dare. i already knew i was most innocent person out of the three and most awkward. just my presence can make situations awkward sometimes. it was weird asking truth questions to max, even though ive known him since i was 2 and sarah was a whole lot closer to him. even though max and sarah arent dating, i still always become the third wheel. i like them though. we got on to weird subjects and i just sortof blanked out and layed on the concrete for a while before they joined me. i feel like a freak. i wonder where we'll be in a few years. my train of thought varies. bye
<3

I WANT CANDY FXCKING DEAD!

collab with mallory for the win!

obama.

today was the inaguration for Obama. I can honestly say it my proudest moment being an american. its amazing how it was the day after martin luther king jr day. on the way to school this moring, they were playing the recording of martin luther of him saying that in at most 40 years we will have a black president. its been 40 years and we now do. someday when i think back onto this i will probably wonder where i was at the exact moment he was sworn into office, and that was second period science with mr. williams. watching bush get on that plane back to texas was such a great moment [some of us actually cheered x]] im happy. GO OBAMA FTW!
<3

haircut.

yeah i got one today.
its not EXACTLY what i wanted, but im waiting for the clips for my extensions to come then i can really see. its like half way fown my neck, and i kinda wanted it a bit longer, but oh well. what can you do!
<3

DUNDUNDUN!

going baby sitting at my brothers in a bit-ski. mercedes just got here. YAy. brought my camera to school today, filmed a bunch of funny crap that may or may not see the internet one day. sorry for now bloggging. will try more. (said this many times before. sorry!)
bai <3

sitting under store lights.

today was pretty much great. i went out to the forum planning on meeting some people but ending up ditching them within 5 minutes once we (me mercedes and sarah) saw who they were with. sarah called up andrew and we spent this day all together instead. it was fun just walking around. we went into borders and found this Would you Rather book and asked through a bunch of qestions. then we just sortof walked around and had a late lunch. eventually we got bored and just sat outside of tilly's talking for a while. i really want to start hang out with andrew more, he seems like he can be an awesome friend. and yeah, that was my day.
<3

and now..

and now it seems as if all my friend are either:
1. depressed
2. moving away
or
3. both
and now i feel like i only have a couple stable friends who dont feel like they are going to drift away at any second. its times like these i really look to my internet friends to talk too. i just hope they dont fade away too.
i dont think you guys know how much you really mean to me and to always have you there is an amazing feeling that i have someone to go to.
love you, <3

back to school.

after 2 weeks school starts again tomorrow. yet, it doesn't feel like break is really over even though there is just a few more hours. im some ways im excited to go back and in some im terrified. im excited to see friends i didnt get to see over the 2 weeks and getting to hang out with them again. even being in some classes im sort-of missing. sort-of. but in a same way im scared to go back to some classes. also to face ridiculous, un-needed drama which comes hand in hand here. 2nd semester starts soon. im only a half a year away from actually having to think about where my life is going. im not sure if im ready for that yet. but maybe i am and a half a year is all i need to figure that out. i feel this confidence for next year like i felt for this year. but things dont always turn out the way you want them too. im not sure what im feeling. only time will tell. i still dont have a new years resolution. perhaps its not to have a new years resolution and just take life as it comes. and try not to interfer too much. maybe, just maybe ill turn out to be a better arin in 2009.
<3

a new year.

this is strange.